Sunday, September 20, 2009

Me, Myself, and I


So here I sit...alone...trying to complete a list of seven things that I truly prefer to do alone. Beyond the obvious. Being an only child complicates this. Most of my life I have desired and sought out companionship. On the other hand after so much time alone, I feel quite comfortable with it. Prefer it? No. Apathetically accepting? Probably. I'm pretty much tired of trying or hoping for anything different. So, I could write a gigantic list of things that I would love to share with someone else, things that I now do alone, but that isn't the task, is it?

Here goes.

  1. Painting (as in art). My little studio is set up in my dad's side of the workshop, far from the stairs. I desire only music while painting.
  2. Playing the piano. I can't play with an audience - usually. And don't try to sing along, it'll screw me up. When I lived in FL, I would practice sometimes a couple hours each day. If I caught a glimpse of the mailman heading up our walk I'd make a mistake - just because I knew he could hear me playing. Once, though, I did manage to sit and play ragtime on a piano that was being auctioned at a local church as potential bidders filed in and out of the building for over an hour.
  3. Shopping (as in clothes). 'A' will barely spare me the time amid shopping for herself. Mom is always commenting when she shouldn't. My first husband used to follow a couple steps behind all the time - extremely annoying. Although I rarely have opportunity, let me shop by myself.
  4. Reading. Sharing newspaper stories with another is pleasant, but don't interrupt a good book. I can sit and read while watching the TV. Actually, that's sort of my norm. Not much of interest on the tube anyway. Even when there is a good show, I'll read during the ads. Having another person around while reading a good book is, well, irrelevant to me.
  5. Writing. I can collaborate and have. When it's me and the words, I need peace and quiet. You can hang out and comment and offer constructive criticism when asked - later. I appreciate the comments. I also like a proofreader.
  6. Floating. Yep, you read it correctly. I don't get to float anymore, but I can easily recall the sensation. During summers in Florida, I would force myself to take 1 hour lunch breaks. I would drive to the pool at the park where my parents wintered. Not a soul around, the pool to myself, I'd take 45 minutes and just float on a inflatable raft. Lovely.
  7. Crying. I'm a private crier. Yeah, there have been times in my life when I've shed tears more publicly. I'm not comfortable with that. I cry alone.

There you have it.

7 comments:

Scribbs said...

GREAT list!

I can't shop alone...I prefer to have someone (female) pass judgment on my clothing. Alone, I dress like, well, a dork.

As for "floating:" reminds me of an old vodvil joke: guy asks banker: "can you float a loan?" Banker replies: "Float a loan? Heck, I can't even dog-paddle!"

Cymbal crash and rim shot go here....

Humans aren't meant to do as much alone as we are forced to do.

deb said...

"Humans aren't meant to do as much alone as we are forced to do."

In definite agreement with you.

Although today, I could have used some alone time. Or much better accompaniment.

I think I'm getting sick. Sore-ish throat (could become laryngitis), generally grumpy. Needed a good pick-me-up. Instead got do-for-me, all around. I'm tired, very tired, of my role around here.

Sorry to complain.

dickiebo said...

You complain if you want to, my dear! Seems we're both a bit down at the mo. I've got Cardiology tests tomorrow, and shoulder injections on Friday - after my stint at the castle. These, on top of losing a front tooth, make it hard to be cheerful! Ah well! There's always tomorrow - I bloody hope!!! lol.

deb said...

Wow, between the two of us, tomorrow is sounding too scarey.

Maybe, I'll just go back to bed and sleep through it!

Kippers Dickie said...

Are you really alone....with A and your Mom?
I live here with just two cats..and conversation is....well limited, to say the least.
I enjoy company...and find it hard to leave, but one should not overstay ones welcome.
When I have visitors....the house seems especially quiet after they have gone.
But...am I content?...No.
Prefer it?...No.
But as the old saying goes:-
"Hope for the best,
expect the worst,
and take what comes!"

dickiebo said...

I won't give in if you don't, Deb. OK? lol.

deb said...

Well, not physically alone in the house(s), (mom lives adjoining). Alone in interests, nearly alone as what passes as conversation here... well, you're probably doing better with your two cats!

I've been sole parent beginning when 'A' was ten. She's 27 now. We don't share the same interests other than we will both listen to some rock 'n' roll. I was remarried, very briefly (1.5 years), now on my own again. I am mother to, daughter to, driver of, solver, and slave laborer (lol), but not equal to or sharing with. I miss that.