Big Gripe

My dad woke up this morning and had some pain in his lower chest area. Not his heart, probably some pressure against his lung, either from the cancer or from fluid which he sometimes develops. My mom was worried but my dad didn't want to go to the hospital. By the time he had breakfast, he was feeling much better. After lunch the pain was just about gone and he had to really inhale deeply to feel any discomfort. My mom felt better about the situation and went out on a few errands. A and I had gone to Marblehead where I had a player job estimate and then we stopped at two malls to do a bit of Christmas shopping.

My mom got home in time to meet the physical therapist for my dad. This was the therapist's second visit.

I got home around 6 p.m. to find my mom very upset and near tears. PT lady had really acted grim. She had insisted on calling my dad's Primary Dr and requested that he have a nurse several times a week and that a social worker should visit. Her comment was that they really needed help, that my dad was on a downhill slide, and on and on.

I am sooooo angry. First of all, of course he is on a downhill slide. He has cancer in both lungs and emphysema. The doctor said he has a year or two at best. This is not news. She acted like death was eminent. Huh?????? He was out in town for dinner last night! For right now it is a long slope, not a downhill race.

And REALLY NEEDING HELP. Excuse me? With what? My mom told her if she was needing any help it would be nice to have a cleaning lady :-) LOL Good for you mom! Mom keeps track of dad's meds and makes sure he's doing what he is supposed to - like not reclining in his chair because of his eye surgery. She makes sure he eats well, etc. She gets tired sometimes, but she is handling it quite well and gives herself breaks. She is far from incompetent. I fill in as often as I can so that she can get out for awhile without worrying what he'll be up to (or not). He is up and washed and dressed every day with no help. He's not just sitting around oblivious. We chat, he goes out to eat (and to the doctor's), he goes out for rides, he watches tv, listens to music and reads (right now it's audio books because of the eye surgery). If this PT lady is thinking that help is needed caring for dad, well, it's not that time yet. Yes it may come, and then it will be asked for, we're not stupid! Why rush it when he is still quite capable?

She had the nerve to ask my mom if my dad had said whether he wanted to be "kept" alive. You know, machines and the like. And, in front of my dad, how long he had been given to live? Why harp on this, and in front of him. Does she think it's a good idea to remind him of the answer? This is ignorance.

IT IS NONE OF HER BUSINESS!!!! She is a physical therapist, not his wife, daughter, guardian, lawyer, or physician. You are out of line lady.

This is hard enough without you, PT, making it sound worse.

All I can say is it is a very good thing I wasn't there to hear this first hand.