lifted directly from Letter to the editor of the GDT.
Dear government Santa: Where's my bailout?
Dear United States government,
Where's my bailout money?
Normally this time of year I would write a letter to Santa for things that I want under my Christmas tree, but, for things such as this, Santa actually holds more accountability than you do. Let's see, I think about $20 million will do. I figure you wouldn't miss that amount of money out of the more than $1 trillion that you will give away.
Since I have to tell Santa how I was good this year in order to get presents, I thought I would do the same to you. I haven't given out any shady mortgages to people who can't afford them and have bad credit history and have forged paperwork like the big mortgage lending companies did. I haven't run a bad business model such as The Big Three auto makers have, where the unions have outrageous benefits packages where the auto makers are forced to pay benefits and pensions to generations of retired workers.
I also figure that I will spend the money much more wisely than the hundreds of billions that will eventually be unaccounted for when that money is eventually used for corporate bonuses and kickback scandals. I figure an honest, hardworking taxpayer such as myself, who followed all the banking rules when I bought my house that I could afford, deserves a reward from my government instead of those who broke the law and lived beyond their means.
I also think that money you give me will be more wisely spent on the local economy, thus expanding the economy of the North Shore and Cape Ann. I'll tell you what, I'll actually give you the receipts of what I bought with my bailout money-this will automatically give me more accountability than The Big Three auto makers, Freddie Mac or AIG.
This American government has taught me well. If you break the law, squander money and follow bad business models, the American taxpayers will just give you their money. It's that easy. So if you could take just another few more million dollars of their hard-earned money and just give it to me this Christmas, I promise they won't notice.
One last thing, can you lower my mortgage rate as well-just like you are doing for all the others who paid a lower rate than me when they were paying a subprime rate? Now their rate is higher than mine and your(sic) bailing them out by lowering their rates and putting off their foreclosures?
As they say, I'll be waiting for the check in the mail under my tree. Merry Christmas to you, United States government!