Tuesday, January 23, 2007

So What's Next?

I must start by saying, "how appropriate." Blogger was having server problems when I tried to log in earlier. I amused myself with a few games of Minesweeper while waiting - there was no new email.

So....I did get a few days of relative peace....my own stuff. It has, however, ended once again. My mom pulled a muscle in her neck, yesterday. So...it's call on me again. She tried taking some meds that she had for neck pain (from a year ago). They made her so loopy that she couldn't finish cooking the dinner she had started. I finished that for her and got them both served, then cleaned up. Stuffed down my own dinner that I had cooked at home and ran out the door to pick up Amanda from work. Then I had to get everything set for the night for them. So at about 10 I was filling the humidifier and moving it to the bedroom, getting my dad's O2 tube run under the hallway runner so no one will trip during the night, and then back to the humidifier because it had to be turned so that the little orange light that means it's on was facing away from them. I went to bed dreading checking on her in the morning.

So...morning comes along and my mom is up getting her own breakfast. I just watched for a few minutes and she seemed fine. Seems her neck hurts a lot more when she knows someone is around. Oh well. I'm not doubting that it hurts. She called her neurologist this morning and had to wait for a call back. I ran around like crazy to get newspapers delivered and a box of keys shipped. I would have to be driving my mom the hour round trip to the dr.'s if she got an appointment and I had promised the key delivery so I needed to be sure they got out. Also another tech would be arriving at 1:30 with more keys and Amanda had to be driven to work for 3. My day was a mess. Thank goodness, when the dr.'s office called, the soonest they could see her will be tomorrow, late morning! I worked until 8:30 tonight so that I don't get behind.


So...Hospice came to my folks place today. I didn't know that they were coming until the last minute. I tried to check in every once in a while between jobs. Everything seemed to be set. At last, I thought, something was going smoothly.

Until later when my mom starts asking *me* questions. What, she wants to know, if she can't care for my dad, if she *has* to put him in a nursing home? Then she started on all the "can'ts" again. So...I tell her I'll sit down and read the info - that they have already signed (of course). I did this and explained to her what's up. I haven't a clue if she really "gets" it.


Which brought up a whole other problem. Her continued nursing home comments got me to wondering...had they followed through on a previous recommendation to check their insurance policy coverage for extended care? I asked. And guess what? They had done nothing.

So...they are only covered for thirty days...which then got me wondering...if those thirty days *were* used and then exceeded...then what? Where's the money to pay? Would there be a lien placed on the house? I own 1/3rd and there's my mother's interest to be concerned about as well. Maybe some things need to be looked at...so I pulled out the deed.

Seemingly and evidently my parents misunderstood when they had the attorney make alterations to the deed. I was told that my name had been added as a co-owner. They insist that it has. It's not the way it reads to me. So, by my interpretation, as the deed is written, I own none of it until they both die.

Now, before you all jump on this and say, "yeah, so what? That's how it should be", realize this....I invested the money from the sale of my house in FL into this property building an addition for Amanda and me. I am also paying a monthly mortgage on that. And now, it seems, legally it's not mine, not even a portion. Just what I need, one more problem. I mentioned this to my mom and she doesn't want to have to deal with it...another "I can't". I brought it up with my dad. He says, "do whatever you think is best." Somehow I've got to find the time to set up an appointment with their/my lawyer. First of all I want to be sure that I am understanding the deed correctly. Secondly, if that is the case, then some changes have to be made. We have now agreed that the property should be in my name alone with the provision that they cannot be "forced" to move, etc. (Not that I would ever do that, but still it should be in writing). There is a legal term for that arrangement - I just can't think of it at the moment. In that way their investment, as well as mine, is being protected.


So...one more thing to do. I'm falling behind on everything. I lost two, possibly three, tuning jobs because I haven't a clue when I can reliably schedule anything for. I keep having to wait to make call backs to set up jobs to be sure it will work around everything and everybody here. I'm very discouraged. The wrap-up of my day is a big NOTHING..lost work and the possibility of lost money and no home.

I'm adding this part the following day to this post. The continuing saga.....the lawyer is away until the 29th. Amanda was up sick all last night, which of course meant I didn't get much sleep either. Got mom to her dr's app't this a.m. after getting up early to get the papers done early so that I had time to get her there. Doc gave her a script for Prednisone and says for her not to do anything. Oh boy.

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